Saturday, July 23, 2005

She defends.. again.. (why?)

I met up with some friends today, who I knew a long time back. Things have gotten all “sober” from the times gone by. I like my friends, they are a good set of people. They don’t worry about complexes, egos.. petty things like that.. anymore. Most of them are now settled in life, typically. So as the encounter progressed, anecdotes started flying around, giggles and laughter followed. But suddenly, at one moment everyone (read three) looked at me and sighed. I, in most of the social congregations, am the epitome for the phrase.. “Had everything.. lost everything”. I never agreed. I vehemently defended every “odd-ball” action of mine. Everytime. These people are the conventional open minded people who do realize and respect the choices of an individual, but I always find the look of disappointment in their eyes when they look at my “wasted” life. I hate that look, it is the same look my mom sports.

“You were smart.. you could have become a lawyer or a manager” or “You were the prettiest among us.. you could have been on TV or maybe have become a tennis player atleast” someone always quipped. Notice, the tennis bit at the end.. that was a suggestion at the heights of humour, a sober software analyst can reach. Fairly pedestrian, I agree.

My defining feature throughout my adolescence was my appearance. I was not a drop dead gorgeous bimbo, as my braggadocio might have suggested, but was fairly attractive. I always thought it ruined my chances of being acknowledged “intelligent”. I did manage to rake up some high scores in most of the exams, but I was always the cute one, not the brainy one. I hated that. But every one thought I ll become “successful” in life anyway. Heck, I still am young and have a long way ahead, but this is where my history steps in.

For brief period in my life, I was in the state of, well.. disillusionment. Like every other kid in the great city of ours, I too was caught in the classic teenage affliction – DRUGS, SEX and ROCK n ROLL. In years gone by, some one said.. “Talent is no virtue, when desire ceases.” Desire is not defined for a teenager, it is misconstrued.

People make mistakes. Some pay for them instantly, some in installments. But every body pays. You just take the receipts and walk on. The only problem is.. that my receipt is stuck to my butt! And I want it off.

So at the turn of the day, as the clock reads 0021 hrs, I declare.. NO, MY LIFE WAS NOT DONE IN! IT WAS NOT WASTED!! Again.

20 comments:

Yours Truly...Conman said...

You certainly weren't my friend. You most certainly weren't.
Don't bother too much about what people have to say.
Easier said than done... but...
Don't bother too much about what people say.

Eastmancolour said...

why's the receipt stuck to your butt ???
damn THAT i'd like to see !!
lol

a wasted life they say ? I wonder why!
UNless all you've ever done is switched off your brain and sit in one place without budging for the past period of your life.. i dont think that comment is valid

Handful Of Hell said...

It most certainly is true that you could have made it better and more comfortable for yourself, but forget not, often it is where you are that propels you to what you strive to be. I cannot but quote the example of J.K.Rowling here. A single mother with three offsprings to tend to, she was in doldrums when Harry Potter happened. But just imagine if she had managed to publish some vague story and made enough moolah to keep her family going, she would possibly never have tried hard enough or be inspired enough to pen something as magical as Harry Potter. (It isn’t my personal fav but the book sells)

Just keep the fire burning inside girl, and shine you shall.

Peace

Anonymous said...

nothing is wasted. everything is a experience. a learning. you seem to have learnt a lot.

the cowlick said...

Every moment lived is an experience in itself. I'd say, if you lived your life according to a set pattern and according to other people's expectations, THAT would be a complete waste.

s! said...

at the end of the day, the most important person in your life is you.. and you owe it to yourself to do what gives you the greatest satisfaction, and makes you happiest.

Anonymous said...

In this age of multiple choices
my life has become but an essay

I dont regret any of my dark, gloomy days n nights ...
The best words I got is...WHATEVER

Nothing seems to be going right,
I'm broke, car is towed away, friends are busy, even my fav TV show got cancelled
WOTEVER!!!

*Intern
The earlier Anon is not me.

A Hairy Snail said...

no one gets wasted. and all bills get paid. so hey...

:)

Broken Verses said...

You only need validity for your life from your own self. People will always have opinions about who should be and what you should do..don't bother!!

Eastmancolour said...

Appear!!

Thetis said...

live your life for yourself. do not worry what anyone says.

what if the anyone is your mom/best friend?

still the same?

why dont randian heroes ever have parents? not in anyway, suggesting that ayn rand is the ultimate objectivist.. just an example.

Penny Lane said...

You bet your ass it wasn't wasted! And who said anything about Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll (also Alcohol) being a waste... I have learnt so much more from these things than I ever learnt in school!

Penny Lane said...

And I was pretty smart in school too!

thetis said...

penny lane: interesting! :)

Again - author said...

Lol...
If the one saying it is your mother or best friend...
Don't bother too much about what people say.
Easier said than done... but...
Don't bother too much about what people have to say.
Lol.

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